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On Life: Learning Self Kindness

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

One of the things I consistently see with women who want a different relationship to food and body is that they aren't very nice to themselves. It isn't just their eating habits or body they criticize, it's a string of self judgments about how they should be more ambitious at work, or better with their money or try harder when it comes to dating or working out or being a good daughter/friend/girlfriend. You name it and they never quite feel like they measure up.

When I suggest some self kindness, they are sure it's the last thing they deserve. They present me a laundry list of reasons why they don't need kindness, but in fact, kindness is the exact nutrient they need. And so, it makes perfect sense that they over eat to soothe themselves after taking such a beating or they control their food intake as yet another way to try and be good.

Kindness isn't something that is modeled very well in our gossip-rag, finger pointing, keeping up with the Jones' kind of culture. And yet, it is the EXACT antidote to the pervasive kind of self criticisms and judgment we think will motivate us but actually just shames us straight to that pint of ice cream and Netflix.

A little each day, practice self kindness. Notice what you DO like about yourself. Write down ONE good thing you did that day, for yourself or for others. Begin to see that kindness makes you blossom into the woman you dream of being more than judgment ever will.

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