"When we eliminate symptoms without cultivating wholeness, we still have an unwell, unwhole or fragmented psyche that will soon enough sprout new symptoms that express, in yet another way, the lack of wholeness." -Bill Plotkin, Wild Mind
This quote exemplifies how diets work. Attacking the symptoms but not the root cause of feeling at war with food and body. For some, that root is born of insecurities and fears and not enoughness, for some, like it was for me for so many years, an inability to deal with the emotional ride of life or a childhood of criticism or any combination of factors that had us feel less than magnificent and capable. And for all of us, no matter how conscious we are of it or not, the diet and beauty industry that, at every turn, makes it dollar telling us “if only you were a little better, a little prettier, a little thinner.” It’s the water we swim in. We learn the body is something to be controlled and managed. We lack body confidence, sovereignty and embodiment and a well-being that,if in place, culturally and personally, would have us in our power, confidence and vibrancy- our divine right as women on this planet.
Diets are all about fixing something that we’ve been taught is broken:: and as women in this culture, believing our bodies need to be different (and are wrong as they are) is as ingrained as believing there are no good men left.
Neither thing is true.
Both are fallacies built to keep you stuck in a pattern of lack, playing small and not creating your life exactly as you want it.
Because you do have the power to do that.
And I get it, power may be the last thing you’re looking for when it comes to feeling good in your body. What we all really want is acceptance, connection, love. And we’ve been taught that the pretty people, the thin people, the successful people get this in our culture. So we diet and strive and strain and control ourselves to try and be those things. We use guilt and shame and feeling not enough to motivate us to try and be better.
I think you already know this: it rarely works. Because those symptoms, whether its extra weight or insecurity or feeling not good enough aren’t the thing that really needs to be addressed. It’s never putting new paint on the walls that solves a home’s foundational problems. It’s lifting the house, repairing the foundation and setting it back down again on a whole, solid and steady surface from which the house can then be a comfortable and beautiful home for years to come.
And here’s the last shift I’ll offer today: Power nurtures acceptance, love and connection (and vice versa). I’m not talking about “power over” other people or situations or the way we think of politicians. This is personal power, your internal fire, your own sense of who you are and the kind of woman you want to be in the world. Living a body confident + soulful life creates the most beautiful kind of power there is. The kind that lights you up from the inside out, then lights the room, then lights the way for other women. And in the words of Marianne Williamson, “it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
It is also what most frees us. The world is waiting for your light, your confidence and your body soul power.