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What it *Actually* Takes to Feel Confident

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

We have come to believe that we can sit and think good thoughts about ourselves, do a few affirmations, lose 20 pounds or find a cure for the acne and that will cure our self esteem, our self image, we will feel confidence. Or that maybe if we do nice things like buying new shoes or getting a manicure or IF PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE WOULD JUST ASK US OUT. Then. Then voila! Then we would like who we are and feel good with our pretty nails or our sweet little mantra and then we will have it. Confidence will be ours. Just like that, that's how confidence comes to you.

Except it doesn't. Confidence comes to you in the moments when you aren't sure, or when you are actually down and out terrified and at rock bottom and pretty certain its all over and you are in fact the only human on the planet that god did not bestow with worth or value. (it should be noted here that it took me three times to not write god as dog, but that's another thought post altogether)

It comes when you chose your desire over fear, when you fully entertain the question "what if that actually worked?", when you listen to the call of your heart over the critic in your head, when you commit to health more than dis-ease.

Confidence, much like strength training, is built when you flex the muscle, when you lift more than your wimpy little biceps can actually handle. Your arms begin to shake, your heart starts racing and you know you may not be able to lift a fork to your mouth tomorrow for how badly the muscle is screaming at you. Except that you do lift the fork and when the sting wears off, you are pleasantly surprised to find that the next time you're lifting, those bicep curls are just a tiny bit easier.

Confidence is built in the heavy lifting. In doing the thing you think you cannot do. In showing yourself that you do, in fact, have what it takes. You are worth it, you can achieve what your mind said you could not. Do enough of those kinds of things and you may begin to feel like one pretty stellar weight lifter.

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