When One is Pretending, the Entire Body Revolts
I believe that if you find yourself inside a distorted (or avoidant) relationship to power, confidence, food and body confidence, much of it can be traced to attempting to fulfill on playing the role of good girl: nice, polite, always a yes, willing to put others needs before their own. In short, our full buy in into the toxic sphere of feminine conditioning in America. This leads to lack and deprivation and reinforcing of toxic ideas on so many levels. Your psychology and physiology will buck against your own self denial every time. And so sets in the cycle of feeling insecure, second guessing and self criticism. And food, oh our loyal friend in food. It is such a soothing, uplifting, loyal force in our lives. When standing for ourselves feels really hard, we at least have food to turn to as a salve, willing to help us bury our angst and lack inside of its delicious, comforting bites. And on the one hand, having an emotional relationship with food is GOOD. Food SHOULD be pleasurable and bring us joy and comfort. It’s when food becomes a crutch and ballast for a lack of other skills such as courage, boundaries, honesty or self care that we’ve abandoned ourselves in the name of reinforcing cultural conditioning and the paradigm of what it means to be a good woman. This is when our body revolts and we start eating in ways that don’t have us feel embodied or genuinely powerful in how we are caring for ourselves. My invitation to you is to do the rebellious and revolutionary work of living on your own terms, saying the thing that’s uncomfortable, standing for yourself and caring for yourself in a way that bolsters your self worth. So mote it be, soulful one.