In a world that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. -Carolyn Caldwell
I’m not interested in perpetuating the idea that you need to be different or better as a woman.
Thinner.
Prettier.
Younger.
Fitter.
Happier.
Nicer.
Accomplished.
There is more than enough of that to go around in the diet and beauty industry.
Scores of ads and products and fast fixes that promise the ideal of who we’ve been told we should be to succeed at being a good woman in the world.
So I’m not interested in doing more of that.
What I am interested in is helping you learn the radical act of self acceptance.
It’s a wholly different orientation to life, weight loss, health and living in your female body than what traditional approaches preach.
True self acceptance strips off the cage of self consciousness, judgment and shame
It breaks the bonds of believing we need to be better/different/thinner/prettier before we really start living our life, sign up for endless programs and workshops or consume dozens of self help and personal development books searching for the answer anywhere else besides simply turn inward and meeting ourselves right where we are.
This is how self acceptance begins.
By turning and looking at yourself, flaws and gifts alike, and accepting them. Accept them the way you’d accept that a dog barks, that a baby cries, and that you, as a dynamic woman and a fallible human, have strengths and weakness just like any other human being.
The challenge that we all face is a culture that at every turn, teaches us not to accept ourselves as we are. In fact, the you may not even realize that self acceptance is a thing, because we’ve been sold the idea that we need to be different SO OFTEN that it just seems natural to constantly have the desire to be different.
In fact, in my own life I found it really challenging to know the difference between what *I* really wanted and what I had been conditioned to think I wanted.
When I really began to reap the benefits of self acceptance, I had to re-evaluate my belief that I needed to be thin to be attractive, worthy, sexy and valuable.
I came to realize that my value as a woman had far more faucets to it than merely the size of my body or number on a scale. But prior to self acceptance, I was so fixated on weight loss and thinness being the key to my happiness that I couldn’t even see how many other valuable characteristics I held as a woman.
But don’t get me wrong, weight loss is not the enemy of self acceptance. You can accept yourself and STILL have a desire for your body to be different. Wanting to lose weight isn’t equitable to self loathing, unless you have weight loss tied to your belief about lovability, worth and value as a woman.
Because that simply isn’t true.
Can you imagine if nature made it so that there was only one kind of woman that was valuable and all the rest of us lost out? If you look to nature and the vast diversity that exists, you’ll come to realize, diversity is the strength of nature. And so it follows that you, as a woman who is part of nature, are also built to be a diverse, dynamic existence on this earth.
Here are a few tips for how to make the shift to self acceptance from your current perspective. No matter where you are, these suggestions can move you to a greater experience of embracing yourself and the fullness of your life.
Make a list of 5 things that are great about you. Do this everyday. This may feel really un-natural at first, given that you are probably used to finding fault with all the things you perceive as wrong with you, but the more you grease the wheel, the easier it turns.
Spend 90 seconds in front of the mirror looking for things you appreciate about your body. You can start as simple as “I like my eyes” or “I have great skin” or if you really feel there is absolutely nothing you appreciate about your physical appearance, then turn inward. Appreciating that heart of yours that beats day in and day out or that your muscles continue to move you around is still a radical act.
Use your bravery once every week. We have become accustomed in our quick fix, gotta have it now culture that things should come easy to us, but that simply isn’t the way the world works. So be brave, even in the smallest of ways, and go for something you really want but usually avoid. When I started doing this years ago, I started with the smallest things. Just wearing a tight fitting skirt felt like a huge deal, because women with bigger bodies aren’t supposed to wear tight fitting clothes. But I really wanted to wear pencil skirts, so I took the brave leap and did it. And the amazing thing about bravery, even with something as simple as a skirt, is that it shows you that you ARE capable of pushing your edge and thriving as a result. The energy you’ll feel as a result will shock you in the best of ways.
I’m not talking fast fixes here- I’m talking about sustainable, life affirming, long lasting skills that will take your life to the next level of satisfaction, peace of mind and body confidence. And like anything that’s truly worth it, self acceptance is going to rub up against all the falsehoods and judgments you’ve been taught to believe about yourselves.
Let yourself be polished by that friction because it’s the way you escape the insanity of the diet and beauty industry to FINALLY step into the full expression of who you are on this planet.